Money raised: $1,670 of $5,500
Number of supporters: 19
Nervous breakdowns: 5
Stress calories eaten: 8,193
Days remaining: 32
Previous week’s stats here.
Well, I knew that with crowdfunding that you come out of the gate strong if you played your cards correctly, and it seems we did, somewhat. I’ve heard of the dreaded doldrums that usually hit mid fundraiser, though I’m already seeing the slow-down. Ally Bishop tells me not to worry, but she might as well tell a porcupine to not be so spiny or a monkey not to throw a handful of its urine on the crowd.
Truth is, this touches on a larger and more serious element for me as a writer. There is something I have been needing to do for decades, and this crowdfunding project is forcing me to face a major issue of mine.
I need to get over myself.
Okay, so be you introvert or extrovert, if you are a writer, you are clearly doing it for a reason. You want to see your words in print for a plethora of reasons. Posterity, pride, future nostalgia, legacy, elevating ideas…ALL of these are perfectly viable reasons, but the center of it is simple: we want to be read. I want to be read. Do I want validation? God, yes. Do I want to teach and learn all at once? Absolutely. So in the end I need to “STFU” as one might say on the interwebz and get over my insecurities.
I would lament, as some broken people like myself often do, at the fact “boo-hoo, no one wants to read my beauteous literature!” but now I see that is clearly not the case. I’ve got 1,670 ‘votes’ clearly indicating that people want to read my shiz. Yeah, some of those votes I know, but surprisingly some I DON’T; complete strangers make up a shocking chunk of that sum. So now I am no longer “boo-hoo no one wants to read me” to “boo-hoo, now I have pressure because I can’t screw up.”
The first was easier. A pity party for being unread required nothing from me. I could sit on the couch and eat cookie dough from the tubular packaging while binge-watching Arrested Development without worries of making any mistakes. But now? OH SHIT. People want to invest in this novel! They are putting their money in my hands and investing in Trampling in the Land of Woe and my ability to bring this project to fruition. That requires a LOT more than gaining love handles on the couch.
So I have to get over myself. I have to accept that a major milestone in my writing career is successfully occurring right in front of me, and I need to stop wembling and grip what it is I want.
I want to be a strong writer. I want to express my ideas and questions through the proxy of entertaining and engaging narratives. I want this project to get fully funded and get the attention and readership Trampling in the Land of Woe deserves. I want the high expectations from this novel to carry over to my next work and then my next. And I won’t stop until, God forbid, the time comes when I get no more ‘votes’ for my work.
And if a writer like ME can get over themselves, surely YOU can to.